Power couple Willem de Ligt (left) and Wilhelmina de Nocht (right) co-rule the Delft Wandsmiths and their initiatives around rescheduling the season and the mysterious Operation Big Bowl have garnered quite a buzz. Below is the transcript for the Daily Horoscope exclusive.
Interview with Wilhelmina de Nocht & Willem de Ligt: Co-Lieges of the Delft Wandsmiths (DWS) by Daily Horoscope Reporter Pedro Salazar
Transcript
Pedro Salzar (PS): So thank you both for taking time out of your busy schedules. Your secretary mentioned you just got back from Monaco. Was it business or pleasure might I ask?
Wilhelmina de Nocht (WDN): Business.
Willem de Ligt (WDL): Pleasure.
WDN: Wooing new sponsors for the Wandsmiths only counts as pleasure if you drink too much, get distracted and go to watch the muggles race. Then drink more. Then pass out.
WDL:...I dont recall...
PS: As Co-Lieges, you both make up the League’s foremost power couple. I hope I don’t sound flabbergasted when I ask “How do y’all do it?!”. Who does what?
WDL: Well I try to mak-
WDN: Communication is the key to any good relationship. I handle the finance, organise our greater business interest etc. You may have heard of Sports De Nocht?
WDL: Erm, yes what Wilhelmina said. I tend to handle the people side, politics, team appointments, social media, etc. Though I wouldn't say it’s a strength. The one thing we share is spreadsheets.
WDN: Love a good spreadsheet.
PS: Ah, yes. I've heard about these. I understand OWL is a passion for the both of you but not your first passions. Can I ask about that, about spreadsheets?
WDL: Well some may think that delftware and our fine wandsmithing has survived the test of time due to the extraordinary craftsmanship involved; and that's a part of it, but really spreadsheets and solid accounting practices are what have ensured the survival of the craft.
WDN: And of course, the successful teaching of our co-lieges to follow script. In all seriousness, though, we have been looking into creating a new range of battle Delftware “To Protect You At Home & Away!” -that currently occupies much of my time.
PS: About OWL, the schedule shake-up made quite a splash! It must have been quite relieving when it passed. How happy are you both and do either of you envision any other parliamentary endeavors in the near future?
WDN: As a representative of the Delft Wandsmiths, I'm proud to have been part of increasing fairness in OWL, a value we hold at the very core of our being. Just this morning I increased fairness by forcibly renegotiating all player contracts to include the same social media clauses as we have Dr Footstamper. Forcible negotiation made smoother by Delft's Battle Delftware: the Wares that Delfts battle with.
WDL: Erm. Well. What I'd stress there is fairness to the league as a whole? I'm so thrilled that the league could come together on such a divisive issue. Very relieved it has gone through as we felt it was integral to the leagues... integrity?
I suppose now our concerns are with the sustainability of the league, but we've yet to find a proposal entirely to our liking. We have been working closely with Cardiff on a number of issues, so perhaps there is something there. Financial stability seems to be a large issue.
The other buzz about town is this mysterious "Operation Big Bowl " rumored to be a collaboration with the Cardiff Dragons. Is that the correct name? Care to elaborate?
WDL: Thats not quite the internal name we've been using, but it's not inappropriate I suppose! We are hoping the "big bowl" will wow our fans and Cardiff’s alike, its creation is a strong showing of unity between our teams, and platform for the craftsmanship of Delft. It would also make a great "starter" for any would be hoarders, if you catch my drift?
PS: I'm not sure I do but I'd like to close by asking about the Wandsmiths. It appears that Delft’s off-the-field success has not been matched with its on-the-field success. Fans are talking about #FreeDirkFootstamper and there was the whole doggo incident. Are their any changes to the game plan for the rest of the season so Delft can secure its place in the finals?
WDN: Dr Footstamper brings great passion to the game. Our players were especially inspired after Dr Footstamper himself paid the not insubstantial bill for, hmm, office repairs following our first game loss, and again after our single-star/heart defeat in game two.
WDL: We want to give Dirk the tools to succeed, clearly the start to the season has been disappointing. But Dirk knows we are about a running a tight ship. However we are working on providing some top end custom software and analytics tools. Look at this match planner we've been working on- with spreadsheets like this, how could we fail?
Any update on doggo by the way?
WDL: I'd like to reassure fans that Vincent van Wand is totally fine, and very much enjoying his newfound love of bones and walkies. We are sure there is nothing traumatic about the experience and that he will be right as rain soon.
WDN: I did wonder why Mr Van Wand's only response during forcible renegotiation was to bark at me incessantly.
It seems we will be leaving now. Willem, we have matter to discuss.
WDL: And a doggo to feed!
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